it's a weird feeling...

It's a really weird feeling...

I went to the first con in nearly over a year. I had fun... but at the same time, I don't feel fulfilled. I didn't really hang out or talk to people like I wanted to. I felt the communication barrier with a lot of people I use to think were my close friends.

I wonder if it's me?

Also... in terms of cosplay. I had lots of fun, but now I'm thinking if it's worth it? I mean, I loved making it and all... but at the same time, it was exhausting and I didn't even end up being able to enjoy the con itself.

If I didn't make my costume, I'd have $100+ in which I could've actually spent on something a lot more useful... but I didn't. SOOO MANY OLD SCHOOL COMICS!!! ARGH!!! I WANTED!

It's not really an epiphany or anything... but I suppose I'm just bogged down by my thoughts because of the loss of my camera today. It really sucks, because I was suppose to take it with me when I go to the US. Plus, it was sort of a family camera as well.

A part of me is upset, but it's sort of like karma in a way I think. I'm such a bad person, knowing I shouldn't be cosplaying and all that... it's a way to say this is what you get for being dishonest and selfish. More shit added onto your plate.

I want to curl up and not think... I better be a good girl from now on. I'm not going to make any cosplays for another year now... Panty will be next year. Hopefully I'll be epic enough to do a dead lift by then. That's my goal.

On the up side, even tho cosplay sort of bogged me down... Pole has motivated me alot. I feel happier about myself and my body. It's amazing what some things can do for you :3


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こんにちは、わたし は リンネです。

私が好きなもの: コスプレ, ボーイズラブ, コミック, ベーキング, ビデオゲーム, 漫画とアニメ, ソーイング, ゴルフ, ポールダンス.
私は好きではないもの: ピンク, 雨, 芝刈り機, 嫌な人.


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