My life is so fucking fail right now that all I wanna do sometimes is curl in a fetal position and just cry my heart out.

This week is turning out to be one fucking crap week.

Other than unnecessary drama in my family, things just tend to go from bad to worse.

Mum had a car crush... with the fucking wall.

Knowing her, she was stressing about all sorts of crap and because of her body being weak, she lost control and pressed the accelerator instead of the break.

She tells me that it's partly my fault... which then turns to it being related to cosplay.

It's always the cosplay that is to blame.

The fact that I can't do what I enjoy, it just pisses the shit out of me. I compromise my time by staying at home instead of going out. The least I can do is to enjoy myself and sew, which keeps my mind away from golf.

I do it literally 7 times a week now.... can't I just have some fucking break when I come home?! *sigh*

Anyways, my mum's always telling me to rethink about everything. Always threatening me and stressing me out. My low confidence and self esteem issues stream from mum's constant nagging and anguish. It's really eating me inside.

Anyways, this has become the last straw. I need to appease to my mother as it's not just my life, but also my sister's life in my hands.

I'm seriously sick of this... but I guess that's what happens when you have asian parents.

I feel like it's tearing me inside having to send an email to Sly that I'm forfeiting from the Madman nationals comp, especially since I've been working so hard on getting things done for the comp.

My only opportunity to cosplay was here during the 6 months I'm staying in Aus... now, I feel like I might never get the opportunity again.

It just really saddens me that I can't do something that I enjoy anymore because of the anguish it creates from another party.

I fucking hate you life.

I hate the fact this country is screwing with my life.

I hate that I couldn't go to Melbourne for my Fashion Design workshop/interview.

I hate that I couldn't go to RMIT for my course.

I hate you that I can't get a job or study.

I hate you for screwing me over for 10 fucking years.

I hate you so much...


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こんにちは、わたし は リンネです。

私が好きなもの: コスプレ, ボーイズラブ, コミック, ベーキング, ビデオゲーム, 漫画とアニメ, ソーイング, ゴルフ, ポールダンス.
私は好きではないもの: ピンク, 雨, 芝刈り機, 嫌な人.


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